I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
