When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
