WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
