no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
