that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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