if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
