AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
