Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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