You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
