We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
