how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
