I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
