I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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