are you so shy because you have an std?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
