Non-Jews are for practice
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
