Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
