Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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