i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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