Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
