We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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