I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
