i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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