If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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