Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
