ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?