I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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