Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?