I faked an abortion last night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
