i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
