Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
