just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize