I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
