Just fell off a train. Bad.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
