I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
