sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
