I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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