I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
did i just pee glitter
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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