At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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