my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize