In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize