Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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