Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
