If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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