Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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