I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
