flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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