Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
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you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
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