I faked an abortion last night.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
