Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
