You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
