Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize