David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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