Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
