hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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