I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize