He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
