After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If I had your ass I would rule the world
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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