How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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