HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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