Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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