i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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