An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
