Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
