omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She announced her abortion via fbk
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
